


brought to light, brush the dark

by matskreider



Series: guys my age [3]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: (no one actually gets hurt tho), Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Communication, Daddy Kink, Human/Vampire Relationship, Kidnapping, M/M, Sexual Tension, Threats of Violence, Vampire Gang, sex tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-22 17:39:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11385129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matskreider/pseuds/matskreider
Summary: He comes up behind the couch, eating out of a bowl of cereal and asks in the most nonchalant tone, “When are you going to drink from me?” Pekka has no idea what to do with that. Or what caused it.Alarmed, he looks back at Juuse. “Wh-what are you talking about? What do you meanwhen?”Juuse shrugs. “It doesn’t make sense for you to go out every once in awhile when you have perfectly good food at home. Wait, you don’t have to, like,buyblood, do you? Are there vampire prostitutes?”(juuse gets a little bit closer to vampire culture than pekka wants him to.cannot be read as a stand alone.)





	1. separation

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by george_squashington. thank you lots babe <3 
> 
> this was also supposed to be the inevitable negotiation fic about pekka drinking from juuse, but instead the world building gremlin lifted her head and asked about vampire culture in nashville and hence...this was born. the porn was finally written though, and can be found as the second chapter of this fic. enjoy!
> 
> if you haven't read the first ones in the series, please do so. you can find them starting [here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11118111)

It’s a Wednesday afternoon in the new year when Juuse brings it up for the first time. Pekka’s sitting on the couch in the living room, watching TV and icing his hip when he hears Juuse come downstairs. Juuse had been doing well in his games since the one against Hank back in December. In his past five starts, he’d won four of them.

Until Buffalo, that is. It was another OT loss for Juuse, and but Pekka was still proud of him. Juuse was coming into his own as both a goaltender and as a person. Though losses still sucked, he wasn’t doubting himself as often. Of course he still went to Pekka for support, and Pekka was happy to give it.

Even if it required Pekka pushing his self control until the very edge, with Juuse above him, writhing happily and letting out small moans with every rock of his hips. Pekka had actually had to leave the room to regain his composure, and it didn’t help that when he’d eventually come back, his bed still smelled of _them._

Juuse had wanted to stay with him last night, but Pekka had to put his foot down and make Juuse sleep in his own room. As he’d spoken to him, his fangs had lengthened, and he was, admittedly, on the far end of his ability to go without food. As Juuse stood there, Pekka had made up his mind and left the house, needing to get some kind of release from the temptation standing before him.

When he’d come back, Juuse had been in his own room, door closed. The windows had been opened in Pekka’s own room, letting the winter fresh air change the scent of the room. Pekka didn’t know how to read that gesture, so he’d just gone to bed.

Practice that morning had been fine, and he was significantly less cranky now that he’d fed. Juuse had done well, had been receptive to the drills and even let the media team get some snaps of him.

So when he comes up behind the couch, eating out of a bowl of cereal and asks in the most nonchalant tone, “When are you going to drink from me?” Pekka has no idea what to do with that. Or what caused it.

Alarmed, he looks back at Juuse. “Wh-what are you talking about? What do you mean _when_?”

Juuse shrugs. “It doesn’t make sense for you to go out every once in awhile when you have perfectly good food at home. Wait, you don’t have to, like, _buy_ blood, do you? Are there vampire prostitutes?”

Pekka sits up now, removing the ice from his hip and setting it on the table. He doesn’t miss the way Juuse’s gaze immediately snaps down to the exposed skin, looking slightly blue-ish from the ice and bruising. Pekka pulls his sweats back up, giving Juuse a flat glare.

“Whether or not there are vampire prostitutes is a conversation for another time. As for me feeding from you, it’s not going to happen.”

“Why not? It makes sense, logistically. I’m always here.”

“Juuse, it’s not…” Pekka puts his head in his hands, sighing as he tries to figure out how to word this. “Have you ever given blood before? Not to a vampire, to, like, the Red Cross or something.”

Juuse shakes his head and takes a seat in the armchair to Pekka’s left. “Aside from getting bloodwork done, I’ve never donated, no. The US is weird about that stuff and I haven’t spent a lot of time in Finland this season.”

“Okay, well. It’s sort of like that. The stories about people deriving pleasure from bites, they’re only a half truth. It depends on the context. If the...drinker’s intent is to cause pleasure, then they probably have already started doing that before they even bite. It’s possible to do this while having sex, too. That’s the more preferred method, at least. It’s easier to brush off the bite as a hickey when they eventually come back to themselves,” Pekka explains, before lifting his head and looking at Juuse.

“That’s where the stereotypes of vampires being extremely sexual predators comes from. Not, like, sexual predators. But like, predators of a sexual nature. You know what I mean!” Juuse continues, blushing.

Pekka can’t help the little chuckle that he lets out at Juuse’s fumbling. “Yes, I know what you mean. And that’s right.”

“So...what about when it’s not sexual?” Juuse asks.

“Then it feels a little bit closer to what Twilight described, with the burning sensation. It’s less like your body is being engulfed in flames and more like, well, you’re getting blood drawn. Humans pass out before they’re dead, just from blood loss, and then...well, you know.”

Pekka doesn’t see nor smell any fear on Juuse, just quiet contemplation. He’s not sure which one is worse. It almost feels like Juuse isn’t getting the importance of this conversation, that Pekka could literally _kill_ him. And so could others like him, others in this very city. Juuse smells like Pekka out of sheer proximity, but he doesn’t smell like him in a way that reads as a claim to others. If Juuse got in trouble -- not that he was, he was pretty safe within the structure that hockey provided him, and by virtue of living in Pekka’s house, but still, _if_ \-- name dropping Pekka would only get him so far. If at all.

“That doesn’t-”

“Please, _don’t_ say that it doesn’t sound that bad. That’s the civilized version of feeding, where someone gets lured in, or seduced, and the intent is made clear. Some who hunt for the kill even snap their victim’s necks before they drink, so they’re dead before the pain sets in, and there’s less struggle. Juuse, people _die,_ you have to understand that.”

Juuse sits back in his chair, taking in the information. He looks a bit shocked, and annoyed. Pekka sighs, bracing himself.

“You don’t have to treat me like I’m an idiot. I know people die. But don’t try to tell me that I’m stupid for trusting you when you’ve never given me a reason not to. I’m not going out to wander the streets with bleeding wrists and look for random vampires to feed from me.”

A low growl tears from Pekka’s chest before he can begin to stop it. He looks over at Juuse, his fangs elongated and visible as he curls his lip in disgust.

The idea of other vampires feeding from Juuse doesn’t sit well with Pekka for a multitude of reasons. The practical, safe side of him recoils at the idea of Juuse inflicting such damage on himself and then putting himself in danger; the possessive, darker side of him recoils at the idea of Juuse being touched by another vampire.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Juuse flinches at his tone, then leans over to put his bowl on the coffee table. When he looks back up at Pekka, he’s cautiously determined. “Are there others? In this city?”

Pekka swallows and nods, mutely.

“Okay, see. Pekka. If I had to _ask_ if there are vampires in this city other than you, don’t you think that means that they’re not dangerous? There aren’t mass murders, there’s not an extreme amount of missing people reports. Just the average amount for an American city, which is kind of high, but that’s besides the point.”

“Juuse. Please, just. Listen to me when I say that, okay. Not all of them are nice. And I don’t want you to wind up a part of something that you’re not ready for. Me feeding from you opens up a lot more doors than I’m comfortable opening. It means a lot more than you’re ready for, just...I'm doing this for your own good, okay?”

“But-”

“ _Drop it._ ”

“...Fine.”

The two of them wind up staring at each other for a few moments more, before Juuse gets up and takes the bowl back into the kitchen. He goes upstairs immediately after that, and Pekka hears him moving around in his room.

The older goaltender picks up his phone from the floor, checking the time. It wouldn’t be the best to call him, so he settles for a text.

_Ik you have a game tonight, but I think I fucked up. Text me after, if you can._

He hesitates then adds a, _Good luck,_ before hitting send.

As he brings himself to his feet, he hears a car pull up in the driveway. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and he’s still a bit wired from his conversation with Juuse. Suspicious, he walks over to the door just as Juuse comes downstairs.

“Relax, it’s just a cab. I’m going over to Miikka’s. Be back later,” he says as he grabs his coat from the coat rack and makes his way outside.

Pekka pinches the bridge of his nose as he hears the cab pull away from the house.

Yeah, he fucked up.

* * *

Pekka has had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach since Juuse left. Part of it is guilt, at the way he had treated Juuse, but also part of it is frustration. Frustration that Juuse wasn’t _getting_ it. That this was dangerous stuff, it wasn’t to be fucked around with. While Pekka himself - and by extension, Juuse - wouldn’t become involved in an all out turf war, they could wind up as collateral. Which Pekka wanted to avoid at all costs.

He knows Damien, who knows _a lot_ of other vamps. Damien had been a bit of a guiding force in where to settle when Pekka had first come to Nashville. Pekka hadn’t yet gotten a lot of Damien’s story, but he knows they are about the same age, though Damien had been changed younger than he.

But even with Damien’s social hub position, Pekka still was a bit of a loner. He wasn’t affiliated with any of the different “neighborhoods” that existed. They were more like gangs, but since American vampires chose to live amongst the humans, they couldn’t be explicit about their affiliations.

Pekka knew, though. He could smell the difference between members of different groups.

(And any vampire with a working nose could smell the fact that Damien smelled like _every_ group, while Pekka smelt like none.)

While in Finland, he knew that the public (and private) saunas were the no combat zones, as it were. European vampires feared exposure; American vampires built up alibis and walked dangerously in the zone of permanent exposure, at any minute. But because of their public life, they might not have had any reason to fear exposure.

Pekka’s restless at this point. It’s 9 o’clock, they have a game tomorrow, and he trusts Juuse’s judgement but this is cutting it close. Besides; he’d said he was coming back later. It was _clearly_ later, and there was no sign of him.

Pekka pulls out his phone and fires off a text to Miikka.

_Is Juuse with you?_

The response comes moments later.

_no he left hours ago. round 6? he not home?_

Pekka tries to tell himself not to panic, but he replies anyway.

_Not yet, might have gotten sidetracked. Don’t tell anyone else, don’t need to make them worry._

Then, after that, he calls Juuse, only to have him get sent straight to voicemail. Now the worry is clawing at his throat, and he gives in, grabbing his keys and heading to his car. Miikka didn’t live in an area with a lot of vampires in it, but maybe Juuse had done the stupid thing and gone off the beaten path.

As he pulls out of his driveway, he calls Damien, knowing that there’s a 50/50 chance he either knows something or someone who can help. Then again, the club was open, so he could be busy working the floors, as it were.

The line connects, and Pekka relaxes into this little touch of luck for the smallest of moments, before he hears Damien’s voice.

“Pekka, darling, where are you right now? Are you at home?” Damien asks. Pekka can tell he’s moving - the overall loudness of the club was fading out of the background of the call.

“No, I’m at Main Street. Dame, what-”

“Come pick me up, I’m at the shop. We don’t have a lot of time.”

“Damien I actually was calling about-”

“Your boy. This is about him. Just, come here.”

With that, the line goes dead. Pekka tries to relax what he now feels is a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel. It doesn’t take long for him to get to the bookstore, probably because he breaks a few speeding laws on the way over.

He doesn’t come to anything slower than a roll in the parking lot before Damien’s opening the passenger side door and climbing in. “Alright, to the mall we go.”

Pekka puts the car in park and turns to face Damien. “Tell me exactly what’s happening here.”

“I’ll explain on the drive.”

“No, Damien, explain _now._ ” Pekka’s teeth are elongated in agitation, a snarl building in his throat.

“Your boy’s there, alright?”

“How would you know?”

Damien gives him a flat look. “I have eyes and ears all over this city. I thought your deal with Marie was clear enough. Apparently she needs to be reminded on the terms. Now drive before we’re out of time.”

The goalie hesitates for a second, but puts the car back into drive, setting out for the mall. “Start talking.”

Over the drive, Pekka finds out that Juuse had, in fact, gone to Miikka’s like he’d said, but had then decided to go to the mall for whatever reason. Damien knew a guy who worked in the tattoo place there, and he’d gotten a text that had warned of an unusual amount of Northstars hanging around the mall. The version of a gang that owned that area. Of course, they’d taken an interest in Juuse, who reeked of Pekka, but was, himself, human.

Marie, the head of the Northstars, was one of the oldest vampires in Nashville, if not this part of America. Technically, Pekka lived within her territory. Technically, through Damien, Pekka had gotten immunity from disputes within the community, due to his very public persona. Technically, Marie should have left Juuse well enough alone.

And yet, here they were.

They get to the mall, now 15 minutes from closing. The guard gives them a bit of a stink eye, but lets them in when Damien gives him a promise they’ll be out in time. Once through the entrance, Pekka starts off towards the tattoo shop, Damien struggling to keep up with his agitated strides.

“He didn’t say where they were, just that he could see them from his shop window,” Damien offers just as they come upon the main food court. It was empty at this time of night, save for a few errant employees locking up shop.

Pekka is about to continue on through, when Damien grabs his arm. He looks down at the smaller vampire, then follows his line of sight.

In a little coffee shop sits Juuse and someone Pekka can only guess is Marie. (He’d only ever dealt with her through Damien, so he had no idea what she looked like.)  

She’s sitting across from him, her arms folded on the table, blond hair in a thick braid over her shoulder. Pekka goes over to them, ignoring Damien’s whispered frustrations behind him.

When he enters the store, the employee behind the counter looks up, but Pekka ignores her in favor of settling his hand on the back of Juuse’s neck.

The younger goalie looks up at Pekka, leaning into the touch immediately. He smells scared, and though Pekka can’t see nor smell any damage done to him, he’s still on edge and angry.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” Pekka murmurs, his words twisted in a slightly stronger accent, courtesy of his fangs. He holds out a hand to the Marie, leaving the other resting on Juuse’s neck. “I’m Pekka.”

“I know who you are,” she says, standing from her seat and taking his hand in hers. She has a strong grip, and Pekka squeezes back just as much, his gaze not wavering from hers. Though she’s a good five inches shorter than him, she is bigger than Juuse, and speaks with a Nashville drawl.

“Then you would know that this,” Damien chimes in, gesturing between Marie and Juuse, “is heavily off limits. We had a deal, Marie.”

“A deal I have still honored. No harm came to his pet’s head.”

Juuse looks up at Pekka as she says “pet,” and Pekka squeezes his neck slightly, encouraging him to stand. Juuse does so and promptly buries his face in Pekka’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Instinct and general concern prompt him to attempt to soothe this startled boy, so he runs his fingers through Juuse’s hair and begins to purr softly, more of a humming growl, but still soft enough to be soothing.

Damien walks up to her, turning slightly so his back is to the employee, baring his teeth. “If you weren’t in public and if I weren’t here, you should know he would have killed you.”

“And if he did, he’d have to sleep with one. Eye. Open,” she murmurs in reply, leaning down to get into Damien’s face. For Damien’s credit, he doesn’t flinch.

“He is not the only one. Don’t violate an agreement made with me again.”

“Or else what?”

“Or else you and the rest of the Northstars will be uprooted from Nashville before the end of the hour. You’re not the only one to have recruited my help. Now leave them alone.” Damien gestures back to Pekka and Juuse.

Pekka takes a step towards the door, his anger still very much tangible. “Damien.” The single word carries the implications of the rest of the sentence, but with Juuse finally safe in his arms, Pekka finds his ability to string together longer sentences cut short.

Luckily, Damien understands, and turns to take his leave. Marie looks after him with furrowed brows, and Pekka curls his lip at her before he too takes his leave, Juuse walking tucked against his side. It takes everything Pekka has in him to pick him up, but he knows they’ve probably already garnered some unwanted attention. It’s 10pm the night before a game, and Nashville’s goalies are wandering around the mall.

Not the best look.

They get out to the car, and Pekka puts Juuse in the passenger seat, relegating Damien to the backseat. Pekka looks at Juuse, who is hunched over, head in his hands.

“Where do you need to go?” Pekka asks. The question is directed at Damien, but his gaze doesn’t move from Juuse.

“Back to the store is fine, I have a car there.”

Pekka nods, and reaches out, gently sliding his fingers in Juuse’s hair. He leans into the touch, and Pekka backs out of the parking lot, taking them both home.

* * *

Juuse and Pekka don’t talk about what happened until after their game against Columbus. Pekka had gotten them a win, but neither of them had felt much like celebrating. They’d gone straight home, and Pekka had taken Juuse to his room, not intent on letting him out of his sight for the foreseeable future.

They’d gone to sleep, and when Pekka woke up, Juuse was still tucked against him, breaths even and slow. He pressed a soft kiss to Juuse’s temple, causing the younger goaltender to sigh softly. The Preds had four days before their next game against Pittsburgh, and until then, Pekka had absolutely no plans to leave the house.

Not until he knew for certain what had happened to Juuse.

Pekka wastes the time until Juuse gets up by playing around on his phone, replying to texts and emails, including a lengthy one from Hank telling him that he heard bits about what had happened from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows Damien, and to let him know that he needed to be more careful in the future. Pekka wanted to reply several crass things to that one, but decided he’d just let that sleeping dog lie.

Besides, he couldn’t rely on Hank to help him clean up all of his messes.

Juuse starts to stir about 45 minutes into this message cleaning spree, and Pekka immediately puts his phone on the bedside table, shifting his attention completely to Juuse. The younger goaltender blinks himself awake, yawning as he did so. Pekka can’t help but be reminded of a kitten.

The peacefulness that comes mere moments after waking, though - before the responsibilities and memories flood the consciousness - looks so good on Juuse. Very little looks _bad_ on Juuse, though, Pekka will admit to his own bias. But as he looks at Pekka, a little smile on his face, and leans down to rest his cheek against his chest, Pekka wishes he could keep Juuse like that forever.

He purrs again softly, running his fingers through Juuse’s hair. It’s at that moment that Pekka feels him stiffen, and knows that he’s finally put together what Pekka probably wants to talk about.

“...Are you going to say I told you so?” he asks softly.

Pekka wants to say no, but the truth is yes, he’s going to. But he isn’t going to lie to Juuse, and he wants to stave off that part of the conversation until he at least knows what happened.

“Tell me how you got there in the first place, and then I’ll see if an ‘I told you so’ is necessary.”

Juuse shifts a little, hooking his leg over Pekka’s and getting closer. His thigh brushes against Pekka’s morning wood, and he bites back a small moan that wants to escape. “ _Juuse._ ”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound very apologetic, but Pekka lets it slide. “I...okay so I did go to Miikka’s, that part was true. And he offered to drive me back, but I told him that it was fine, I could just take a cab. So I did that, called one, and when he pulled up I knew that something was off, but I just didn’t listen to myself. I get in the car, and the driver doesn’t ask me where to, he just starts driving. And I don’t say anything until we get to the freeway and start going in the opposite direction to come back home.”

Pekka’s dead heart twinges at the way Juuse talks about home. Here, as home; Pekka, as home.

“I ask him what’s going on, he tells me that he knows you. And I’m thinking, ‘okay, everyone in this city knows you,’ but then he tells me that he’s working for someone who really wants to meet me, and that’s when I realized that he had fangs and…” Juuse trails off, and Pekka gently brings his chin up so he’s actually looking at him. He’s not crying, but it’s clear that he’s still unnerved by what happened.

“What happened baby?” Pekka whispers. Juuse takes a shaky breath, then continues.

“I reached for my phone to call 911, and he said that he’d kill me if I tried to call anyone. And by then we were pulling into the mall, and I was terrified so I just froze. He took me inside and I wanted to run but I kept getting the feeling that we were surrounded? Like there were a lot of people there, but it was different. Felt like we were being watched.”

 _You were,_ Pekka thinks, but doesn’t say anything, instead wordlessly squeezing Juuse’s shoulder in encouragement.

“He pulled me into that hallway that goes to the bathroom and took my phone from me, and he was gonna smash it on the floor but then this blonde lady came out of the bathroom and grabbed his arm. And then he started apologizing, and then she growled at him and took _my_ phone from _him._ She introduced herself and told me that she was a friend of yours, which I didn’t believe for a second, but I...didn’t want to die, so I did what she said. She took me to the coffee shop and then sat me down and asked me questions. About you, about hockey, about Finland. It would have been an okay talk if I wasn’t fearing for my life, I…”

He trails off, and Pekka whines softly. There’s a moment of silence, before Juuse resumes.

“I didn’t think you would find me. How...how did you find me?”

“Damien. He called me and told me what happened, hence why he was there with us,” Pekka murmurs, rubbing Juuse’s back soothingly. “Did Marie say anything to you in particular? What did she want from you?”

“Nothing, I don’t think,” Juuse answers, finally lifting his head and looking up at Pekka. “She never took anything from me, except my phone. Which she gave back a few seconds before you guys came. I think she smelled you or something. But she...she looked kinda confused, when you showed up? Because she didn’t think I was yours, or something. She said that I ‘wasn’t being used to your advantage,’ whatever that meant.”

Christ, he feels so small in his arms, and Pekka irrationally wants to roll them over and take Juuse so he doesn’t wind up in that situation again. But he knows that wouldn’t answer Juuse’s question, but rather make him more suspicious, and that’s the last thing Pekka wanted. Then again, he didn’t want Juuse exposed to the underbelly of vampirism, and yet, it had happened.

“She knew I hadn’t fed from you, that’s what she was referring to. It’s...kind of a complicated, old way of thinking. A while back, when vampirism first became widespread, sometimes vampires would take humans as ‘pets,’ mostly so they didn’t have to continuously hunt for food. Sometimes they actually loved the humans they had, and sometimes they only pretended they did, so the human would fall in love with them. This was pretty prevalent in Sweden, actually. It’s one of the reasons Stockholm Syndrome is called what it is.”

“So that’s why she called me your pet.”

“Mmhmm. And...some of that is my fault. When I moved here, I found Damien because every sub community has that one person that knows everything. Damien is that guy. He helped me figure out where to live, and then told me what group’s territory I would be living in. Marie is the head of that gang, the Northstars, or whatever they’re calling themselves now. It changes, every once in awhile.” Pekka shrugs, before resuming.

“Part of the agreement of me living here, originally, was that I would get involved in her gang if she needed me to, and I said fuck no, I just want to be left alone. I told that to Damien, he pulled some strings, and wound up with the terms basically being that I don’t get involved in any _other_ gang’s activities, and in return she leaves me and my possessions alone. This was settled over a decade ago. When you moved in, I went to Damien to ask him to update the terms of agreement to include you. When he said that I couldn’t protect you outright, I had to get a little bit….creative with how I phrased it.”

Pekka would be blushing now, if he could. He’s still ashamed of what he had to do, what he had to _say_ to get them to leave Juuse alone. Especially since this was before he and Juuse had become romantically involved, and the old world connotations of referring to a human as a vampire’s possession still clung around in certain circles. Apparently the Northstars were one such circle.

“...So in order to live without being brought into gang life, you needed to say that I was your possession, so that she wouldn’t go after me either? Is that what you’re telling me?” Juuse asks, sitting up now. He seems almost like he’s not believing it, and Pekka wishes he were joking, but it’s the whole reason why they are where they are.

“Basically.”

“She was confused because you said I was your pet, but you haven’t fed from me yet.”

“Because to her, feeding from you makes you my pet. Not just words, it needs to be...enforced. With acts.” Pekka sits up as well, facing Juuse. “I’m sorry that you got caught up in all of this. It was never supposed to touch you,” he whispers.

“What would you have done if something had happened to me?” Juuse asks softly, looking up at Pekka through his lashes. “And be honest.”

It’s a simple answer. “I would have killed whoever was responsible.”

Juuse’s silent for a moment, then climbs into Pekka’s lap, wrapping his arms over his shoulders. He pulls Pekka down closer to him, until their foreheads are resting together. “Do you expect me to be afraid of you now?”

“I expect you to be smarter, now that you’ve had brushes with others.”

Juuse’s lips twist into a smile, and he leans in closer, his lips just brushing Pekka’s. “Make me yours, just to prove it.”

The irrational, instinctual part of Pekka agrees with what Juuse is saying, and he pulls Juuse closer to him. It’s not a lasting bond, there is really no way of that happening, but scent wise, Juuse would be forever a possession of Pekka’s to other vampires. It would force Marie to honor the terms of the deal, unless she wanted to invoke Damien’s ire. And no other gang would be so stupid as to invade the Northstars on a whim.

This was protection, as much as Pekka could give it to Juuse, though he threw his safety out the window when he decided to live full time with a vampire. A vampire that he now sat in the lap of, kissing chastely, fingers moving through his hair to try and convince him that this was a good idea.

“How long have you been thinking about this? This isn’t just because of Marie, is it?” Pekka asks, once he’s separated himself from Juuse’s mouth.

Juuse, for his part, leans in and gently mouths down Pekka’s jawline, making his way to his neck. Part of Pekka laughs at the reversal of positions, the small human marking up the vampire’s neck. “For a while, now. I’ve always been a curious person.”

“I have no doubts of that,” Pekka murmurs, groaning softly as Juuse’s teeth brush a sensitive spot. “Juuse, I-”

“Would sex do it? Even if you didn’t want to feed from me, could you still make me yours in some way?”

“I-it might, yeah. Temporarily. Feeding is a more long-lasting version,” Pekka admits.

Juuse sits up and comes closer, until he can grind against him with a wickedly good rhythm, and Pekka can’t stop the whimper that escapes. Between the teeth against his neck and the friction against his dick, he almost doesn’t want to be the voice of reason. It would be so easy to just let Juuse continue, to let them _both_ continue and have what they both want.

It’s Juuse this time, though, who sits up and looks at Pekka. His face is flushed, blue eyes a lovely darker shade, and Pekka can feel how hard he is against his stomach. He wants to ravish him, and Juuse seems to be able to read that in his expression, because he smirks in a way that makes Pekka’s cock twitch.

“Whaddaya say then, _Daddy_ \- you hungry?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda sad hank only made a guest appearance via email in this one, but there really wasn't a place for him to be. come into my inbox to yell about these guys on [tumblr.](eddieluongo.tumblr.com)


	2. union

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He catches sight of the way his fangs stand out against the rest of his teeth, and he has one of those moments where he becomes almost too aware of what’s going on and who he is.
> 
> If anyone else were to see this moment, they might call him a monster, and for several reasons. The vampirism, to be sure. The extreme age difference, both physically and literally, of course. The power imbalance, a starting goalie fucking his backup and understudy, certainly. He doesn’t disagree with any of those.
> 
> But if anyone else were to see this moment, and try to _intervene_ , that’s when it would become clear. Because if anyone were to try that, they wouldn’t live to see the next hour. Because Juuse was _his_ , and no one - not the NHL, not Marie, _nobody_ \- was going to take him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the smut that we've all been waiting for. i was debating making this it's own separate work, but since it follows immediately after the events posted as part 3, i figured i'd just put it as the second chapter.

Pekka growls lowly at the words, tightening his grip on Juuse’s hips. He wants this boy, and he wants him  _ now,  _ but several things need to happen before he can do that. He’s not exaggerating when he knows that Juuse is going to need to take more prep than he might be used to to be able to handle Pekka, and the absolute last thing Pekka wants to do is rush into this and hurt Juuse. So he pulls Juuse towards him, kissing him hungrily, and letting Juuse resume rocking up against him. 

Juuse seems content to let him explore like this, as long as he gets the friction he wants. Pekka slips his fingers up against Juuse’s torso, rubbing the pads of his fingers against Juuse’s nipples. The younger goaltender shivers at the touch, leaning in closer to get more of it. Pekka teases him for a few minutes through the soft cotton of his shirt, before he leans back to pull it off of Juuse’s.

It’s not that he hasn’t seen Juuse shirtless before, both in the locker room setting and around their house. It’s not that he hasn’t gotten to run his hands down Juuse’s body, feel the youthful warmth of human muscles in a young frame, fine tuned to the performing instrument that it had become. But this is the first time that he doesn’t have to stop himself from rubbing his thumbs against Juuse’s nipples, feeling the blood pulse beneath his skin, listening to the way his breath hitches whenever he touches a sensitive spot.

Juuse tugs at Pekka’s shirt, and Pekka takes the hint, shrugging out of his own. Immediately, Juuse’s hands roam over his torso, and Pekka’s reminded of the fact that he rarely walks around with his shirt off. Or at the very least, has never let Juuse get this close to him while he’s had it off.

The palms of his hands, calloused from years of taping and workouts, slide up and down Pekka’s body, leaving a trail of warmth wherever he goes. He settles his hands on Pekka’s shoulders, and the vampire settles his own on Juuse’s waist, his fingertips brushing the waistband of his boxers. He wants to slide his hand down lower, but he knows he should stop and get the lube before it’s too late that it becomes an inconvenience.

As he reaches over to the bedside table, Pekka feels Juuse continue down the other side of his neck, teeth scraping over where his pulse would be if he still had one. He feels skilled, and that assuages one part of Pekka’s conscience that worries if he’s taking advantage of him. But the part of him that’s deeper than that, the instinctual part that would rip people apart if anything happened to Juuse: that part doesn’t want anyone touching him.

“Is this your first time?” Pekka asks, knowing it’s a loaded question regardless of the answer.

Juuse pauses, and leans back a bit. Pekka reaches one arm around to steady him as he closes the drawer, the ¾ full bottle of lube in his hand. 

“It’s...yes and no. I’ve fooled around before but never actually been fucked. Though I’ve been fingered, if that counts,” he admits. “But, obviously, I’ve never had sex with a vampire, so…”

Pekka raises one eyebrow, unimpressed. “Having sex with a vampire isn’t that different from having sex with a human. Oral is more complicated, but that’s obvious.” He’s beyond pleased that Juuse hasn’t actually had penetrative sex with anyone yet, and logistically he’s happy that Juuse at least knows what he’s doing for some of it, and has experience in what feels good vs. what doesn’t feel good. It’s the safest option of the two that Pekka was thinking of, and he swallows back the happy purr that threatens to escape.

Juuse shivers when Pekka suggests oral, and he knows that’s a conversation they’ll be revisiting at a later date. Pekka himself isn’t opposed to it, but it’s tricky business with his teeth.

“So what do you want to do?” Juuse asks.

“I’ll be honest,” Pekka murmurs, pulling Juuse in for another hungry kiss. “I just want to watch you come for Daddy.” 

Juuse moans against his mouth, his heart rate spiking at the words. “Can I ride you?” he manages to get out, one hand sliding down between them and cupping Pekka’s length.

The warmth from Juuse’s body felt almost painfully good, but having his hand there makes Pekka hiss in pleasure, his hips trying to buck up into the sensation. “Lemme...first…” He pulls at Juuse’s boxers, encouraging him to move so he can pull them off all the way. When Juuse moves to the side so he can strip, Pekka pulls off his own sweatpants as well, leaving the both of them naked.

When he looks back at Juuse, he sees Juuse’s attention completely on his dick. He knows he’s not small, by any means, and he gives himself a few half-hearted strokes.

“Holy  _ shit,  _ babe,” Juuse whispers, looking up at Pekka with wide eyes. “You...you’ve been holding out on me.”

Pekka gives him a wry smile. “We share a locker room, don’t act like you’ve never seen it before.” 

“You’re not hard in the locker room, it’s a different story,” Juuse replies, but reaches over, brushing his fingertips over the underside of Pekka’s tip. 

His hips jerk up, and he can’t help his punched out groan. He spreads his thighs, encouraging Juuse to touch a little bit more. It seems to work, because when Juuse wraps his hand around his length, Pekka almost comes right then and there.

He looks over at Juuse, and sees him leaning closer as he experimentally strokes Pekka, his thumb every so often brushing at the tip. It’s almost like he’s transfixed, his attention held by the cock in his hands. 

Pekka reaches over and runs his hand down Juuse’s back, encouraging him to slide up onto his knees, where he’s lying beside Pekka.

His backup does so distractedly, and as Pekka flips open the cap to the lube and pours some on his fingers, Juuse swallows his dick down halfway. Pekka groans at the feeling, and is temporarily thankful for the lack of leverage he has, sitting like he is. The last thing he wants is to choke Juuse, though the image of him looking up at Pekka with tears clinging to his eyelashes is definitely an image to file away for later.

With the lube somewhat warmer now, he rubs some along his fingers and reaches back, rubbing his wet fingers against Juuse’s hole.

He has to pull off to catch his breath, shivering slightly at the touch. “Cold,” he whines softly.

“It’ll warm up,” Pekka soothes. His own body temperature didn’t help all that much, seeing as he was a little cooler than room temperature. “Promise. You’re doing so good for me.”

Juuse rests his forehead against Pekka’s thigh, his skin almost feverish where it touches Pekka’s. He whines softly, and lifts his hips up, putting himself on display, and Pekka wants to  _ watch. _

He adjusts Juuse’s body so he’s now straddling Pekka’s hips, but facing the mirror on the dresser across from the bed. Juuse looks up and catches Pekka’s gaze in the mirror, a sly smirk on his face. 

“I didn’t plan for it to be used like that when I put it there,” Pekka mutters, going back to gently working Juuse open. He manages to get one finger in, up to the first knuckle. 

Juuse curses, and Pekka inwardly agrees. He can only imagine what it feels like to Juuse, but to him it feels so incredibly  _ hot, _ both temperature and attractiveness wise. He has big hands, and he knows this, and from the little gasping sound Juuse makes, it feels good. Pekka sets a gentle pace, slowly opening up Juuse.

By the time he gets a second finger in, the squeeze is significantly tighter. Juuse’s got his fingers tangled in the wrinkled sheets, his hips twitching as he tries to stop himself from rocking back. Pekka holds his wrist still and runs his lean hand up Juuse’s trembling thigh, settling on the curve of his hip.

“You can move, if you want,” he murmurs. Juuse moves back, sitting a little bit lower until his cock is resting against Pekka’s. The older goaltender reaches between them and holds both their cocks together in a loose fist, spreading Juuse’s pre-cum over the both of them. Now, Juuse’s caught between pleasure and more pleasure, and he whines as he rolls his hips, fucking himself back on Pekka’s fingers, then up through Pekka’s fist. 

It’s an endless feedback loop, and Pekka finds himself drawn to looking at the mirror. Juuse’s head is down, brown hair hanging down loose, obscuring his face. But what Pekka  _ can  _ see is Juuse’s dick, flushed and leaking, peeking between his fingers every once in awhile as he seeks pleasure.

It’s a heady feeling, the slick wetness of Juuse on his fingers. The room is filled with the thick smell of sex, but Pekka’s focused almost entirely on Juuse’s smell, how it’s even more obvious now than before. His head swims with it, and he lets his lips part, almost tasting the air. It’s a poor substitute for what he really wants, but that has to wait.

He adds a third finger, and a bit more lube, and by now Juuse’s faltering in his rhythm, so Pekka takes over. Where he’d been purposefully avoiding looking for Juuse’s prostate before, now he seeks it out, fingers spreading him open and exploring along his walls. When he finds it, Juuse jerks in his arms, gasping at the feeling. 

He lets go of their dicks and wraps his arm around Juuse’s waist, keeping him still as he spreads him over, rubbing against Juuse’s prostate until he starts to mumble, “Daddy...Daddy, so close, Daddy,  _ Daddy. _ ” 

“Getting close, baby?” Pekka asks, almost purring at the warm wetness around his fingers. He sees Juuse nod, and he withdraws his fingers, patting Juuse’s ass to encourage him to move over. Juuse looks up at him, eyes pricking with tears. Pekka pulls him closer, and cups his cheek, bringing him down for a gentle kiss. Juuse grabs onto his shoulders and doesn’t let go, licking into Pekka’s mouth. 

The older goaltender almost lets him continue, but he pulls back just before he feels his fangs come down. Juuse whines, but Pekka gently shushes him, leaning in and pressing soft kisses across his cheeks. “Teeth, babe,” he whispers, and he feels Juuse shiver in his arms.

“Daddy, please, want you,” Juuse replies, reaching back behind him to grab onto Pekka’s cock. He teases them both, sliding the tip of Pekka’s length along his ass, catching at his rim and then moving on, spreading lube and pre-cum over both of them. 

Pekka lets out a shaky breath as he watches Juuse’s eyes flutter with pleasure. “Wait, we...Juuse, condoms…”

Juuse shakes his head. “Wanna smell like you, all over. You’re clean, right?” he asks, and this is the clearest that his eyes have looked since he’d seen Pekka’s dick for the first time.

Pekka nods, and Juuse kisses the tip of his nose. “And I’m clean too. So just let me…” He cuts himself off as he takes a deep breath, and begins to lower himself down on Pekka’s dick. Pekka rubs gentle circles on Juuse’s hips as he tries to relax himself enough to take him.

When he does, he lets out a noise that Pekka wants to hear again for all of eternity. He takes a breath, gasps, really, and Pekka pulls him forward a bit so he can cling to Pekka while he tries to take more of him in. He knows it’s a lot, but Juuse is determined, sinking down a little bit further as soon as he becomes able. 

It takes a while, during which Pekka continuously praises him, telling him how good he’s been and how proud he’s making him, but eventually Juuse has him halfway. He’s  _ keening  _ against Pekka’s collarbone, his thighs shaking as he raises himself up and sinks back down, tentatively fucking himself back on Pekka’s dick. 

“So big, Daddy, fuck…” Juuse moans as he hits his rhythm, his hole tightening around Pekka’s cock. He’d accidentally brushed his own prostate a couple times, each time letting out a little hiccuping gasp of surprise, but too clumsy to try and replicate it immediately. He squirmed with every movement, losing himself in how good it feels to get what he finally wanted, what they  _ both  _ wanted.

Pekka squeezes down on Juuse’s hips, helping him to ride him. “Good boy, such a good boy. I have more, though, do you want more?” 

Juuse nods, his nails leaving ten raised lines on Pekka’s shoulders. He bears down on Pekka’s dick, and Pekka wraps one arm around the small of Juuse’s back, leaning back to give Juuse more room to work. He doesn’t want to lose it, even if he’s about to be balls deep in his boy. 

When he finally bottoms out in Juuse, he holds Juuse there, unable to keep his snarl of pleasure inside. Juuse’s panting against his neck, his teeth brushing against the spot he’d already darkened as they’d made out. He’s so close, so  _ warm,  _ and Pekka grins in a predatory way as he watches them in the mirror. 

Juuse’s pink hole is stretched around his cock, and he picks him up slightly, then sinks him back down, watching the way he takes it. He catches sight of the way his fangs stand out against the rest of his teeth, and he has one of those moments where he becomes almost too aware of what’s going on and who he is.

If anyone else were to see this moment, they might call him a monster, and for several reasons. The vampirism, to be sure. The extreme age difference, both physically and literally, of course. The power imbalance, a starting goalie fucking his backup and understudy, certainly. He doesn’t disagree with any of those.

But if anyone else were to see this moment, and try to  _ intervene,  _ that’s when it would become clear. Because if anyone were to try that, they wouldn’t live to see the next hour. Because Juuse was  _ his,  _ and no one - not the NHL, not Marie,  _ nobody  _ \- was going to take him away.

Pekka flips them both over, Juuse on his back now, blinking up at Pekka. He still has his arms over Pekka’s shoulders, but they slide limply to the pillows on either side of his head. Juuse curls his fingers around Pekka’s wrists, where he’s bracing himself against the headboard above the smaller Finn.

Juuse wraps his legs around Pekka’s waist, breathlessly whimpering, “Daddy,  _ please,  _ I….more, please, Daddy,  _ Daddy. _ ” 

Pekka brings one hand down to cup Juuse’s jaw, rubbing his thumb over Juuse’s wet, reddened lips. He purrs when Juuse opens his mouth, suckling on Pekka’s thumb as he tried to rock his hips up. 

“Want more from Daddy?”

Disoriented nod.

“I don’t know if you really do…”

Earnest, wide-eyed nod.

Pekka presses a kiss to Juuse’s forehead. “So good for me, baby.” 

He starts off slow but deep, rolling his hips whenever he bottoms out, just to give Juuse as much as possible. His boy is incredibly responsive, groaning every time Pekka does, and gasping when he pulls back.

Juuse wraps his legs around Pekka’s waist, and Pekka sits back, resting his hands on Juuse’s knees to watch him as he takes it. He reaches down to touch himself, and Pekka gently moves his hand away, replacing it with his own. Juuse arches his back, moaning loudly as Pekka teases him with a too-loose grip. 

He’s so tight, though, and so hot, that Pekka can’t continue the teasing for much longer. He moves to a faster, harder pace, changing his angle every once in awhile until Juuse  _ sobs _ with pleasure. He reaches for Pekka, nails scratching down his chest as he jackknifes off the bed, shaking with the feeling of being so close.

“Please please please, Daddy, please,  _ please, Daddy, please… _ ” It’s almost like those are the only words he can say anymore, and Pekka, in his hazy state, thinks the world would be a perfect place if those were the only words Juuse could say.

Well, maybe “I love you” too.

“I know, I know,” he coos, grabbing Juuse’s hips and pinning him where he wants him, forcing him to just  _ take  _ the onslaught against his prostate.

Juuse tries to squirm away, but it’s in vain, and when he finally comes, it’s with tears running down his face and the word “Daddy” on his lips.

Pekka fucks him through it, his mouth open now as he pants, taking in their combined scent, the way Juuse reeks of sex and Pekka. His fangs are still out, and it takes everything in him not to bite down on Juuse, to drink in his blood and revel in them being connected in the most intimate of ways. 

Juuse looks up at him, legs still stubbornly wrapped around him somehow. His eyelashes are wet with tears that are still falling, his stomach wet with his own come, and Pekka is finished. He bottoms out, filling his boy and growling as he does, a dark, possessive sound. He swears he hears Juuse sigh the moment he feels Pekka come inside him, and he collapses down over top of him, nuzzling his neck, inhaling more of Juuse’s scent.

All that matters in this moment is Juuse. The moment he starts to struggle breathing, Pekka wraps his arms around him and rolls them onto their sides. As they move, he slips free of Juuse’s hole. He works himself back in, lazily rocking his hips now to prolong the pleasure. He rubs Juuse’s back soothingly, shushing the little overstimulated whimpers he lets out, and before long Pekka feels Juuse come again, adding to the mess between their stomachs. 

Pekka purrs deeply, holding Juuse closer, smearing his come between them. Juuse works his head against Pekka’s neck, his lips resting right against Pekka’s Adam’s Apple, feeling the vibrations from there. 

Slowly, eventually, they come down from their highs, Juuse still tucked against Pekka’s body, now rather drowsy. Pekka himself feels exhausted, but he can’t rest until he knows Juuse’s okay. He pulls out, finally, and leans back a bit to look Juuse in the eye.

Juuse gives him a tired, but sated grin. “You’ve  _ really  _ been holding out on me,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse and slow. 

“Well I knew you’d be insatiable once you’d had a taste,” Pekka counters, but gives Juuse a shy smile in return. “Sore?” 

“Probably will be, yeah.” 

Now it’s Pekka’s turn to whine, nuzzling closer to Juuse as he starts purring again. He knows that a first time is incredibly important, but usually leads to soreness. Especially with how rough he’d been towards the end...even solid prep still leaves one weak.

He pulls Juuse towards him as he slides out of the bed, until he’s standing beside it with Juuse in a bridal carry.

“You don’t have to  _ carry  _ me, I can walk,” Juuse protests. 

Pekka just looks at him with a raised eyebrow, but can’t maintain the suspicion for long. He breaks into another smile, leaning down to kiss Juuse gently. When Juuse returns it, his purring gets even louder.

* * *

When Pekka next wakes up, it’s almost 3pm. The afternoon sun streams in through the window, less forgiving, even in the winter. He yawns, and feels that his fangs are  _ still  _ there, even hours later. It’s not uncomfortable, and he doesn’t smell blood, so he almost wants to drift back off to sleep.

The sound of a growling stomach shakes sleep from his mind.

Juuse’s sleeping with his back to Pekka, his spine pressed against Pekka’s side. At what Pekka can only vaguely remember being an uncomfortable sensation of emptiness, Juuse inhales and stretches out, his joints uncurling fluidly from where he’d set them. Pekka slides a hand across Juuse’s stomach, and he shivers at the cold touch. 

Pekka nuzzles him in apology, humming softly. It’s a soft and tender moment, curled up in these clean sheets, in a room that smells like  _ them,  _ with a boy that smells like  _ him. _ He chuckles softly to himself; he’d seen the way other vampires had lost their minds trying to defend what was theirs, and he’d always sort of thought himself above that. 

Now, he thinks he can see why.

“You hungry, baby?” he whispers, and Juuse whines softly. 

“Yes, but I o’wanna move,” Juuse mumbles, his words slurred by speech and his cheek smushed against the pillow.

Pekka hums. “Because you’re hurting or because it’s warm?” 

Juuse’s quiet for a beat too long, before he says, “I just don’t wanna move.” 

Pekka kisses his temple before getting out of the bed. When Juuse whines and reaches for him, he comes back, kissing him softly and tucking the covers closer around him. “I’ll be right back,” he promises, but freezes when Juuse cups his cheek. 

He holds still as Juuse lifts his lip a little bit with his thumb, showing his fangs. He doesn’t say anything, but nods to himself, then lets Pekka go. Pekka kisses his palm before he lets go, heading downstairs.

He pulls out a bowl and some bread and sets about reheating the pasta from the night prior. While it spins around the microwave, he leans against the counter and thinks over what just happened. 

He and Juuse had sex. The world didn’t end, and nobody died. Juuse’s safe, and sated, upstairs in Pekka’s bed, and it felt wonderful. Pekka knows he opened up a can of worms with this one; now that both of them have had a taste, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to refrain from giving in to Juuse whenever he asks.

He doesn’t think he’ll be able to hear him say the word “Daddy” again without having his cock twitch, but that’s not a new development. The microwave beeps and Pekka shakes himself out of his stupor, reaching up and taking the bowl out. He sprinkles some parmesan on it, and some oregano and garlic salt as well. Spreading some butter on the bread, he grabs a towel and wraps it around the bowl, leaning the bread on the bowl. He grabs a couple Gatorades and waters from the fridge and then makes his way upstairs. 

Juuse’s still lying where he left him, curled up in the center of the bed, but he starts to stir as soon as he smells the food. He places the food on the bedside table closest to him, and lines up the bottles as well. With empty hands, he ducks back into the bathroom to grab a packet of Ibuprofen. Then he climbs back in the sheets, gently petting Juuse’s hair. 

“Got you some food, pasta from last night,” he murmurs. 

“You’re so good to me,” Juuse replies, attempting to sit up. He winces slightly, and Pekka whines softly, his hands reaching uselessly for Juuse, as if he could stabilize him from his own pain.

Juuse shushes him, pulling himself up to a seated position, leaning against Pekka’s side. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Is it time for more Ibuprofen?” 

Pekka whines again, pressing a kiss to Juuse’s temple. “It’s been a couple hours, but you should eat something before you take it,” he cautions, reaching over to grab the bowl, a Gatorade, and the Ibuprofen, handing them to Juuse.

He immediately starts eating it, groaning at the taste. It’s not sexual, the connotations, but it sends a shiver down Pekka’s spine. “So good to me,” he mumbles around his food.

Pekka hums, relaxed now that Juuse was eating. The smell of the spices in the sauce made his nose burn, so he nuzzled his face into Juuse’s hair, taking in something significantly more relaxing. He feels the same haziness from earlier come over him, and he closes his eyes, giving into the feeling.

He doesn’t realize how much time has passed until he feels Juuse trying to get them to lay down. “What-?” he asks, even as he settles down with Juuse.

“You were spacing out pretty hard,” Juuse says, sounding amused. “Everything okay?”

Pekka bites his lower lip, and only in doing so he realizes that his fangs have disappeared. “Yeah, everything’s good,” he murmurs.

“Okay,” Juuse hums. “How’re you feeling?”

“Happy,” he coos. “You’re kind of a biter.”

Juuse chuckles. “Oh,  _ I’m  _ a biter.”

“My neck carries the proof,” he replies, pointing at the hickies across his neck. They might not stay, over time, but for right now they’re plentiful. 

Juuse hums as he traces his fingertips over the proof of the morning’s activities. He sits up slightly, pressing soft kisses over each of them, then down the lines his nails had left on Pekka’s flesh. “I’m not sorry for marking you up,” he murmurs between kisses. 

Pekka slides his fingers into Juuse’s hair, playing with the fluffy masse as he explores his own markings. He supposes it makes sense that Juuse would want to mark him up in return, even if Pekka’s marks were little more than soreness and scent. “I’m not sorry either,” he agrees, softly. “...You know I’m yours, right?” 

Amidst all of the possessiveness, the talk of contracts and agreements and ownership, never once had Juuse been put in a position of power. He’d only been an object, to be fought over and protected, and Pekka needed Juuse to understand that he wasn’t just something for Pekka to have. He was his own person, and Pekka belonged to him just as much as Juuse belonged to him.

“Oh, I know,” Juuse hums, resting his chin on Pekka’s chest. He looks up at Pekka with a knowing smile. “That was almost all you would say in the shower, when you felt like talking. The rest was just purrs, which was really cute by the way.”

Pekka groans and throws his arm over his eyes. “Stooop, it’s embarrassing.” 

“You’ve done it before, though. Is it like when cats do it? That you’re happy?”

“It can be. If I was doing it then it was probably more to soothe you. I was happy, but I was more focused on making sure you were okay, properly taken care of and cleaned up, all of that.” 

“Is that why you wouldn’t let me put on my own clothes?” 

Pekka peeks down at Juuse, only to see him looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. “...Maybe.” 

“Awh, babe, that’s adorable.”

“You’re  _ insufferable. _ ”

“You’ve suffered me plenty and lived to tell the tale,” Juuse counters, reaching up and nudging Pekka’s arm off his face. Pekka stubbornly keeps his eyes closed, and it’s only when he comes up to nuzzle against Pekka’s cheek that he opens his eyes again. 

A few moments pass in comfortable silence, but a worrying thought occurs to Pekka.

“...You don’t regret it, do you? Like, was it...was it for the right reasons?”

“What, that I love you and wanted you to fuck me, and you finally did and it was better than anything I’ve had done to me in my past years of sexual activity?”

Pekka hears the way Juuse’s heart stutters as his brain catches up with his mouth and he realizes what he just said. They hadn’t said that yet, but this seemed almost as good a time as any.

“I was moreso referring to us having sex so soon after what happened with Marie, but that works just as well,” Pekka murmurs, looking down at Juuse.

He’s blushing furiously, and Pekka brings him into a gentle kiss. “And for the record,” he whispers after they part, “I love you too.” 

Juuse’s hopeful smile makes Pekka pull him back in for another kiss. The both of them are smiling too much for it to get much deeper than that, but it settles something within Pekka that had been pacing in circles since this whole ordeal started months ago. 

He had been so scared to let himself recognize that he was in love with Juuse that he tried to deny it, say that it wasn’t there. But now, after all that’s happened, he realizes that he didn’t actually stop himself from falling for Juuse at all. He’s just as deep as he would have been had he said those three precious words earlier.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday, america. hope these were the fireworks you were hoping for. come yell at me about this on [tumblr.](http://eddieluongo.tumblr.com/)


End file.
